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Personal Best Karate

The Encouragement Trap and How to Avoid It

Posted: May 17, 2019

By Master Christopher Rappold Encouragement is a wonderful thing.  Hey, we all need a little from time to time.  Especially when you are hitting a challenge or feeling like the world is temporality stacked against you.  The little pat on the back you need may be the spark that can get you firing again on all cylinders.   But can encouragement be taken to an extreme and be done to the detriment of your child’s growth and desire to excel.  According to Stanford University Law Professor Carol Dweck, Ph.D., the answer is yes.  She says, “Doling out generic praise based on superficial attributes such as intelligence, athletic ability and good looks can establish a fixed mindset in children.   This will limit their motivation for growth to a certain point. “     


An Important Conversation To Have With Your Child

Posted: May 17, 2019

By Master Christopher Rappold I hope the school year is off to a great start for you and your children.  No matter how good it is going, it is likely there will come a point when you are going to need to coach your child through a tough decision.  As many parents know, children and teens often times use the word “tattling” or “snitching to describe anyone telling an authority figure about any type of situation that occurred. Many times, instead of going to an adult, they simply keep what has happened a secret because they fear being made fun of or looked down on. The challenge is, without an interruption in the pattern of the bullying and the intervention from someone in a position of power, more than likely, it will continue.   To encourage children and teens to report bullying behavior when it happens, it is important to help them see clearly the difference between the two words.


The Gossip Test

Posted: May 17, 2019

As a facilitator of Anti Bully education in 29 public and private schools covering grades Pre –K through 12th grade, I am frequently asked about gossip. It seems that it is everywhere and in all walks of life. The examples change based on age, but it always comes back to speaking of others not present in an unflattering way. One of the stories I have shared many times over the years to help others understand the destructive power of rumors and gossip is the following. Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you hear or find yourself ready to repeat a something told to you.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me, I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Test of Three."


7 Steps to Raising Your Child’s Self Esteem

Posted: May 17, 2019

1. Keep a Victory List: Refrigerators were made for this! Keep reminding your child of all the things, both large and small, they should be proud of. Many times children (and adults) do not give themselves full credit for their achievements.

A parent I know took the idea of a victory list and not only kept the refrigerator full, but also took the time to make a scrapbook of the improvements a child made each year. Yearly, the parent also wrote a two-page paper summarizing all of the positive changes and challenges the child overcame. On the child’s eighteenth birthday she will receive the scrapbook full of accomplishments from each year of life as well as the two-page narrative that goes along with each year.

2. Catch Them in the Act…of Doing Things Right: Having to wear the hat of being the disciplinarian can sometimes lead to only noticing or making a big deal over the things that go wrong. Nothing is wrong with correcting negative behavior as long as you are equally as passionate about drawing attention to accomplishments.


What is the Difference Between Tattling/Snitching and Reporting?

Posted: May 17, 2019

We are about one month into the 2013 school year. How is it going so far? I hope it is off to a good start. Regardless of a good or bad start or what school your child attends, there will likely come a point when you are going to need to coach your child through a tough decision. As many parents know, children and teens often times use the word “tattling” or “snitching to describe anyone telling an authority figure about any type of situation that occurred. Since they fear being made fun of or looked down on, instead of going to an adult they simply keep what has happened a secret. The challenge is, without an interruption in the pattern of the bullying and the intervention from someone in a position of power, more than likely, it will continue.

To encourage children and teens to report bullying behavior when it happens it is important to help them see clearly the difference between the two words.

Tattling / snitching is when a child sees another child doing something that has nothing to do with him or another classmate and decides to tell a teacher for the personal enjoyment of watching the child get in trouble. It is actually a subtle form of bullying.


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