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Personal Best Karate

Understanding the Roots of Bullying

Posted: May 17, 2019

By Master Rappold

When someone with a chronic headache goes to see a medical doctor, chances are high that the medical doctor is going to prescribe a drug that has a great chance of alleviating the pain.  Problem solved….right?  It may be, but it’s not hard to figure out why this approach is so popular; in the mind of the patient with the reduction of the headache, the patient feels relief and often thinks that he is cured.

When a patient goes to see a doctor of Chinese medicine, the doctor will provide a thorough examination, not to alleviate the pain, but rather to see what is causing the pain.  When the “root’ cause is discovered, the Chinese doctor then attempts to correct it.  Since the body is so interconnected, the headache could be caused by a problem that originates in the person’s foot, a diagnosis that would be missed with the traditional medical approach.  Both approaches may work; however, when we take the time to understand the root, we have a greater chance of keeping the symptoms from reoccurring.

So how does this relate to bullying and why is understanding the roots important?  Sometimes it’s easy to forget that the child who is causing hurt to your child is probably hurting, too.  Where do bullies come from? Bullies often come from broken homes and/or homes that lack solid parental supervision and support.  They are children that are crying out for something to be cured within them and are acting out the hurt in unpopular ways.  Many times they lack the basic social skills for creating friendships in their life; therefore, they live with the need to “get attention” the wrong way, because in their mind negative attention is better than no attention at all.  While all children will go through small versions of these feelings, children who truly come from the background described are destined to live there forever, unless something changes for them.

The truth is that bullies aren’t people to fear but rather people to feel bad for.  As parents, it’s important to think of this first before you shout out marching orders to your child or make demands that the bully is never to be within 25 feet of your child at school.  When a child makes a cry for help, it’s the responsibility of the adults around to support the child the best way they can.  Also, keep in mind that by removing the bully from your child you have not helped your child learn the skills and the mindset to successfully deal with the next bully that comes along.  

Christopher Rappold is the founder of Personal Best Karate as well as a child safety consultant. For more information or to provide comments and or future column suggestions email him directly at Donewithbullying@personalBestKarate.com

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