The choice to make life easier is not always the best choice for your child
Posted: May 17, 2019
By Master Christopher Rappold
In a culture that continuously floods messages of immediate gratification and quick, effortless solutions, it is easy to forget that challenge and resistance is a natural part of a healthy life. Stress can often increase when we expect things should be easy and then we hit the inevitable road bump. Like Thomas Edison attempting 10,000 times to invent the light bulb, we need to remember that every failure, every rejection, every refusal allows you an opportunity to refine your approach and move forward. Delays are not denials as long as you recognize their value and learn from the feedback.
As parents, it is perfectly natural to want to protect our children from life’s disappointments, defeats and setbacks. A better way to protect your children in the long run though may be to help them understand that all of these things are a part of the natural process of learning. Children are going to come up against classmates in school who challenge their view, teachers who give too much homework or have too high expectations, friends who betray trust, etc. And while parents in many cases can “get involved” and make these problems go away, the momentary release of stress for their child ultimately cripples a child’s ability to fend for themselves in the long run.
In some ways, life is unfair. In other ways, life is perfectly fair. Resistance, failure, loss, disappointment and setback are distributed equally to everyone. It is only what you do in reaction to each that ends up making life easier. Commit to think long term with your child. Be a guide from the side and keep them fully engaged in finding their solutions. Over time, if done right, they will need you less and less to win the game of life. What a gift of deep seeded self esteem to give your child. As the saying goes, “Good timber does not grow with ease, the stronger the wind the stronger the trees. “
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