Parents, do you often hear other parents say, "Brayden loves his classes once he's at them. After class he talks about how great it was and he always leaves with big smile on his face. But sometimes, I have a hard time getting him to his classes. Brayden's watching TV or a friend asks him to play or he's in the middle of a game and he gives me a hassle about coming to class.”
Child psychologists call this being "Present Oriented" and it's typical in young children. They don't want to break away from what they are doing now, no matter what! They have not learned the concept we like to call "Stacking". If you spot any signs of this type of behavior here is a nice conversation to have with your child.
HERE IS A SCRIPT FOR A PARENT:
1. When you sit down ask your child, "Brayden, can you build a nice castle or high tower if I give you a bunch of blocks?" "Yes," he answers. You say, "That's because they're stackable, aren't they? How high a tower could you build if I gave you a bunch of baseballs?" "I couldn't," he'll answer. "That's because they are non-Stackable. No matter how hard you try they won't stack up,“ you answer.
2. Ask Brayden, if he watches TV or plays video games today what does it do for him tomorrow? What does it stack up to? Does it get him better grades? Earn him some money? Get him a better job? What does it do for him the next day, month, year, lifetime? Nothing. It's "Non-Stackable." It's fun for the moment but doesn't add up to anything. Then ask him, “What do you get tomorrow from doing your homework today? What does it stack up to? You learn important things. It gets you good grades. It makes parents, teachers, and you happy. You can get into advanced classes. Choose the schools you want to go to. It stacks up!” Ask Brayden the same thing about chores, music lessons, and karate classes. They all stack up.
3. It's easy to tell "Stackable" things from "Non-Stackable" things. "Stackable" things need to be done at or by a particular time. Homework is due on a certain day. Chores need to be done on Saturday morning after breakfast. "Non-Stackable" items can be done any time. There's not a time you have to watch TV or play.
4. Tell your child to never replace "Stackable items with "Non-Stackable" items. No watching TV during homework time and no playing with friends during karate class times. No more arguing about going to class, going to bed or eating dinner.
5. You should say, "Here's the agreement we're going to make. From now on you are not allowed to argue with us about not going to planned stackable activities. Know in advance that I don't accept, 'I wanted to watch TV, I didn't feel like going, I wanted to play' because those things are not Stackable.
6. Do we agree? Great! Let's do it. I know you can, and I'm looking forward to you being your very best.
