Part 3B: How to Handle the Bully at School
Posted: October 31, 2019
A Parent’s Guide by Christopher Rappold
Three simple steps to use when your child experiences bullying behavior at school
Without this unpleasant experience happening, you would only be able to hazard a guess at your child’s ability to handle this. Now you know where he/she stands in a situation of "push back."
- Take the time to discuss what happened with your child. As you’re doing this, be aware of your reaction; this will either calm or intensify your child’s perception of the event. The idea is to allow them the exercise of expressing their feelings, a skill set that in and of itself will be valuable to them.
- Remind them that they are loved and respect their feelings. When you are feeling great, you know you are loved, cared for and that you are important; everything else around you tends to be kept in perspective. When the world doesn’t cooperate with you as in the bus example, it’s a small annoyance as apposed to a day-wrecking event. Perspective is the order of the day, and keeping it reinforces healthy reaction.
- Let them know that what happened is not personal against them and that their reaction to the "push back" is more important than getting a seat. Why? Because this is the seed of repeated psychological bullying. When the bully and everyone on the bus see what happened, they gain insight into how they can and cannot treat your child. They are unconsciously making judgments on who will be an easy future target.
The most important "take away" for you as a parent is that you have an opportunity to rate your child on a scale of 1 – 10 on their ability to handle this scenario. Now with that knowledge, your goal is to improve their ability to handle this or similar situations. Because of this "push back," you will not have to guess anymore about your child’s ability to handle these types of situations. You are now on the road to building your child’s resistance to the acts of bullying.
