Part 3A: How to Handle the Bully at School
Posted: October 23, 2019
A Parent’s Guide by Christopher Rappold
Why Bullying May Be the Best Thing that Could Happen to Your Child
When I look back on my years at school and think about the teachers I had, I have an adult realization: some of my toughest teachers taught me the most. Though I didn’t like the extra homework, additional assignments and hours of reading, they forced me to do something I wouldn’t have otherwise done myself ...push myself.
When children come from a home that provides love, support and structure, they feel as if they have control of the world and their environment. When they get on the school bus and start to meet other kids that don’t share that same love of them, often times they don’t know how to handle the verbal harassment or the unwelcoming look that says, "find another seat."
Well, I’m telling you, these experiences of bullying may be the best thing that could happen to your child. The reason is simple. Perhaps for the first time, your child comes face to face with someone outside of their protected environment that doesn’t, at first glance show the same level of caring they are used to receiving. In most cases what immediately follows is the hurt feeling and the tears when they arrive home from school, sharing with you the "horrors" of the day.
Your child is experiencing typical age appropriate "push back." What creates the "horror" is that this is their first go round with someone treating them this way. Parents, think about it, get on almost any city bus in America and, as adults, you will experience many unwelcome looks and stares that tell you to find another seat. In fact, depending on the city you’re in, you might get more than that. Why is this not bothersome to adults? Because we understand that this is part of life, we keep a healthy perspective and find another seat.
Part of the experience for your child is a test of their confidence. When something negative happens to a confident child, they accept it and move on. When something happens to a child who is more timid, they may see it as the end of the world. The point is that the challenge is not with the bully. The challenge is the reaction of the child that exposes their readiness to handle "push back."
"The point is the challenge is not with the bully, the challenge is the reaction of the child that exposes his/her readiness to handle push back."
