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Personal Best Karate

How Many Times Do You Tell Your Child,

Posted: May 17, 2019

By Master Christopher Rappold

As a parent, it seems that we are faced with a never-ending surge of requests by our children.  Everything from “Can I have…” to “Can you drive me…” and “Can you buy me…”.  And just when you think they are tired or get the hint it is not working, all they were doing was catching their breath for the next round of requests.  With all these requests it seems there has to be a better strategy than simply and repeatedly saying, “NO”.

I found a few simple strategies to alleviate you from sounding like a broken record and at the same time provide you the opportunity create teachable moments for your child.

Amy McCready, the founder of PositiveParentingSolutions.com, a training program for parents, and the author of The "Me, Me, Me" Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World offers three phrases that depending on the situation will give you a nice alternative.

Instead of "no," say..."You're really growing up! From now on, I'm going to let you be responsible for certain things."

This can be used for avoiding an unpleasant morning that starts off with you jumping through hoops to get your children ready to them given the tools and responsibility to do it on their own.  You could also use this for a request your child makes for you to purchase something for them.

Instead of "no," say..."When you finish X, you may enjoy Y."What a great motivation.  Something they want that they can have as soon as they finish their responsibilities.  By taking this approach it is up to them not you as to 
whether they can enjoy what they want.

Instead of "no," say..."Let's talk about it."This is a great strategy that can be used in the event they make a request to do something that you feel may have some risk involved in it.  Instead of shutting them down completely, you include them in the thinking through as to whether what they want to do would be safe.  Examples of this could include the request to ride their bike on a busy street, the request to go to the mall for the first time with their friends without parent supervision, or even the “Can I have another dessert?” 

Parenting is a worthy life-calling.  The opportunity to shape the way your child grows is a privilege that can’t be denied.  Having varied strategies and skills of influence can make the difference between being tuned out or tuned in.  Keeping your child tuned in allows you to shape their habits and behavior so they are able to realize their potential eventually become capable independent young adults.

If you would like to have your child try our award-winning character based martial arts program that will reinforce family value and teach mental and physical skills to ensure they are safe, please go to the registration page to sign up today. I promise you that our team of highly-skilled martial arts teachers and mentors will make you and your family feel right at home.