Giving is Energy Giving
Posted: December 04, 2019
For some, to make a friend takes time, effort and energy. Thinking about this can be a daunting task. An effortless way to get around what you may perceive as an energy drain is to be a giver. What do I mean? It takes mental effort when meeting someone to craft a way for you to be interesting to the person you are meeting. You ask yourself, “How do I act?” and “What do I say?” all the while feeling stress on the inside.
Instead of taking that approach, how about focusing on being more interested than interesting? Take the spotlight off yourself and sincerely be interested and curious about who they are, what they do and how you can help them. From their perspective it will be so refreshing to meet a person who is not trying to make themselves look good, but rather is interested in them.
If you think about it, creating a relationship is based on the person, liking, trusting and respecting you. What better way to facilitate this happening than to unselfishly allow them the spotlight to share what they want about themselves with you.
I was taking a two hour plane flight a few years ago and by chance I was seated next to a gentleman who was wearing a bowler’s jacket. I commented on the jacket and his eyes lit up. Taking the cue I then asked him a question about how long he has been bowling, will he be competing in a tournament in the near future, and so on. Well, two hours later when the wheels hit the ground the conversation ended. As the gentleman deplaned to head out to his bowling tournament he turned to me and said, “I really enjoyed our conversation and getting to know you.” The reality is though he never asked me anything about me. For two hours, I kept the conversation on him, as a result, he felt connected enough to me that he felt he made a friend. That’s one real life example of this approach in action.
When you give sincere interest to another, you leapfrog over all the other people who will only be trying show how important they are. Take the time to show interest in that person first and you will have the opportunity to fast track your relationship. Then when the conversation does swing to what you do, the person will want to give you their full and undivided attention. Giving the spotlight is energy giving to the person, but also immensely energy giving back to yourself.
Change the focus from you to the person you are meeting. Instead of thinking about what you can get, think about what you can give. You can never go wrong with this approach to making human connections.
“The best vitamin for making friends… B1”
Author Unknown
